Will it actually last this time?

A month or so ago we had company staying with us. While you and I were out running some errands we were talking about joining a gym. I made a comment that would be cool then maybe we would have energy to have s*x more often, you agreed. Then I made a comment about when that happened you wouldn't need to visit your girlfriends anymore. You asked me when I thought the last time you had gone to one of those sites was and I mentioned a couple of weeks. The way I figured it - kind of hard to "sleep in" and check them out in the morning with company in the next room. Or to "come home early" again due to company.

I was a little shocked to find out that was untrue. You had managed to find a way. Should have known when you were working on your wireless on your laptop that you would try it that way. Of course as it always does I immediatly go into a funk at the discovery. And per normal you noticed and asked what was wrong. Usually I say nothing but this time I didn't.

I asked why you still look at that stuff. We had a bit of a conversation about it. You mentioned that obviously I don't approve and you'll no longer do it again. Of course I was thinking to myself "every time I bring this up I've never 'approved', that's why I bring it up!" Either you've gotten WAY better at hiding it or so far you have lived up to your promise. I'm finally starting to trust you in this matter again. I just hope it continues. :-)

uh huh, right

You know those allergies you have? I hope that its not that bad tonight since I used your pillow to dust off the entertainment center.

I know you've gone to visit your girlfriends a few times since our last conversation. Funny we were watching a few "to catch a predator" shows that gives unseen footage from when they actually aired. One of the guys that was of course caught kept saying "I don't know, I'm just bored". You said, "what kind of an excuse is that - I'm bored?" I kind of laughed to myself because you used the exact same excuse to me.

Mr. Bored, I hope you felt better after your little action from this morning before work and of course after I left. My hint that you did something? You move the curtains over in the bedroom to make sure I have left... MF.

Brought it up..... again.

We were having a discussion about next year and things we should be doing, kind of a New Years Resolution thing. I don't really believe in those though. You mentioned that I should join a class of some sort, anything that I was interested in. I didn't really offer much on the subject.

Then I finally decided to offer something. I looked at you and said, "can I tell you the truth?"
You: uh oh
Me: the reason why I'm never interested in joining any classes or extra curricular activity is because I worry that anytime I'm away from the house for any extended period of time that you're visiting your girlfriends. So anytime I'm gone you're looking at them.
You: I just get bored. - a bit of silence - okay, maybe I should work on this.
Me (thinking to myself) sure, I've heard that one before.

Interestingly though you were at home the other day sick from work. Of course I checked when I got home. I didn't see anything. Of course this could be a short time away from them. When you get "bored" again, I'm sure you'll be back.

You f^cker

F^ck You! F^ck You! F^ck You! F^ck You! F^ck You! F^ck You! F^ck You! F^ck You! F^CK YOU!!!!

You are a mother f^cker.

Since you are going into work a little later than me you had some spare time to spend with your girlfriends. We had sex 3 times week before - I even let you f^ck me in the *ss one of those times. And we had sex 2 times last week. I guess just not good enough.

I did kind of bring it up to you.
Me: "you left one of your girlfriends websites up on your computer" (are you really gonna try and call me a liar?)
You: "oh, you checking up on me?"
Me: "nope, you left it up on your computer. I watched it a little and then closed it for you."
You: "what did you think?"
Me: "uuuuummmmm... yeah..."

OH! And as I'm out having another Dr appt to figure out how I can possibly concieve our first child your at home spending even more time with the girlfriends. I almost made you come with me out of fear you would do that. Your just a f^cker.

Go Figures

One day last week you got to come home early from work. For a few minutes while I was still at work I wondered.... will he? Then I thought, no we're doing good and he's not interested - really.

Well I was wrong. Granted you didn't do a lot of looking, but you did look. Thanks hubby - I love you.

How Nice

It seems that having your day shift back seems to have kept you away from your girlfriends. I hardly even check anymore and my stomach is no longer in knots just wondering what you are doing while I'm away. Let's hope this keeps up.

Last Day

Yesterday was your last day on your night assignment and now you are among the day working people again. I'm hoping that since you are no longer at home alone - bored - that the porn will stop. Of course now that you will little time to check it out you will take every opportunity that I'm gone for any extended period of time to take a look. You know - hair cuts, getting nails done etc.

I did again joke with you yesterday, "I guess this is the last day you will have alone with your girlfriends". Again you didn't find it funny.

I did check your History and its been cleared so I'm sure you did have a look one last time... hopefully it is the last time.

*sshole

Yep you are still an *sshole. I go out of town and I even joke about you staying away from your "girlfriends" and every day I was gone you went to visit them. I bet you couldn't wait till I stepped foot out the door so you could get on the computer. Even the last day before I came home you had a friend over and you had to kick him out of the house so you could have a little alone time before I got back. I'm sure when you called to see where I was it wasn't because you really cared it was because you wanted to know how much alone time you had.

You scold your best friend for being addicted to beer and his wife not liking it and telling him he needs to grow and change yet you can't? What a joke.

Karma

I call it karma. when you continue to look at the porn then I really don't feel bad when you have cramps in your legs and feet that keep you from sleeping. Sorry that's just kind of how I feel.

You did actually go about a week without looking. I even went about a week without checking up on you. Funny the day I decide to look is the day you actually looked. Huh.

And what did you look up? Strap On Galleries. You know, I would love to try different things in our relationship. I've even bought a couple of things and you don't like the idea. But yet you go look it up online. Granted I've never bought a strap on. I know damn well you would never let me f you with it but I know you really enjoy watching it.

Still!

After 3 days of sex you have to go for the extra stuff. Immediately the Monday and Tuesday your looking at it. I mean come on... you just got laid 3 days in a row and you still have to go view the extra porn? I just don't get it.

Giggle

I giggled to myself all day today. When I decided to use up some of your minutes last night I didn't realize how much I used up. I guess I was really into the video I was watching.


I kept thinking to myself all day "I wonder if you notice your minutes are missing?" And if you do there is no way in hell that you will confront me about it will you? I mean that would mean you having to confess that you lie to me... still watching porno and that you purchased it...


You are getting a little smarter since that note I gave you. You're starting to clear your history on your computer. You've done it two days in a row now. It will be a little harder to keep up and maybe that will be better for me. You're addicted to porn and I'm addicted to finding out if you have looked at it, what you looked at and how much.

Since you cleaned out your history today I don't know what else you looked at but I can tell that you looked at about 17 minutes of your paid stuff. You're down to about 10 minutes left so what will you do then? Are you going to risk buying more minutes or will you just let that lapse?

What an amazing man

We had our discussion about committment on Saturday and not two days later (Monday) you're back at it. Just amazing!

Last night I wrote you a letter and left it on your computer for this morning about how I appreciated what you said on Saturday that it meant alot to me even though I know that you don't agree with it. That I appreciated you caring for my feelings and that I no longer have that knot in my stomach yadda yadda. You seemed to appreciate it.

Today you cleared the history from your computer so maybe you're learning that I'm looking there? I did check your account and you were rather busy today. I decided to check out one of the videos you viewed today (that and to bring your minutes down).

You made a funny

As we were running around yesterday we were trying to decide what to do that evening. You mentioned just lying around naked all night and maybe having a little sex and maybe recording it. I proclaimed that you have never wanted to keep such records and you said yeah, you were just teasing.

But I decided to kind of run with it.
Me: But if we had a video then you could view it anytime I'm not at home and you got bored (I was kind of hinting towards I know that you only look at porn when I'm not at home)
You: I'm not allowed to look at porn.
Me: Oh, and are you actually following that rule?
You: My committment to you and our marriage won't allow me to do it. I don't agree with it but I'm not allowed. (or something like that)

Yeah right, I know that you looked at it the other day - granted not a lot but you still looked so I guess you're not as committed as you say to my face.

OH! And I keep getting wiser and wiser to how you do things. I've been wondering for a very long time how you access your porn page as I don't see it from a google search or from the URL address drop down list. I knew you had to have it saved somewhere for easier access and I was right. Made it appear as something normal but something that would really not interest me in the event I was on your computer. You only have one link from this saved location but its a great page that goes off to all other pages. Nice.

I've thought about moving the link to another one of your folders to see if you can find it. Are you going to ask me about it?

And I've finally come to the conclusion that anal is your porn of choice so I've also thought about changing your current favorite to an all male anal porn. Just funny. I think so anyway.

Or maybe I could just change the name of the link, how do these sound:

"forbidden page"
"Free Sex"
"While the wife is away, I can play"

Oh I could keep going...

another day

Turning off the PC thing didn't last long. I really haven't been checking much either. I did finally look Wednesday night at your special account and on your computer in anticipation of Thursday afternoon. I knew I was going to be working late so wanted to get a feel of where things were before then.

Of course you couldn't resist being home alone but you didn't go into your special account. You did find some nice free stuff and it doesn't appear you did too much searching. The one video you found must have been good enough.

I even tried to mess with you Thursday night and you kind of seemed put off. I guess its kind of hard to c^m twice now? Maybe I'm not as good as they are? Ah - who knows?

Doesn't that contradict?

We were watching a movie the other night and this guy shows up to work to find everyone gathered around a computer and watching a live porn cam. Come to find out it was the guys girlfriend and he had no clue. He called her and she picked up the phone, while still on cam, and he asked her about it. She made kind of a funny comment, "what's wrong with it, I'm sure you've watched other sites before..."

I asked you "what would you do if you found out I had a cam?"
You: "Your things would be packed and out on the street."
Me: Why?
You: Because that's cheating.
Me: Why? Its not like I know who's watching.
You: It's still cheating. There's no discussion you would be out.

Hmmmm... funny. Its okay for you to watch other girls do basically the same thing. As long as they are someone elses wife, girlfriend or daughter. Just as long as its not me. I see how that's fair.

Oh! And I love the new electricity concious you have become. Deciding to turn off your PC at the end of the day to save a few bucks? Will be kind of hard for me to actually see what you've done for the day, but I still have access to your account (not busy today by those standards). Of course I'm sure there will be one day that you'll forget...

I figured it out

It didn't take me long actually to figure out how you purchased those extra minutes. You decided to use the card that goes to our savings account since we don't really check that because well we don't use it for purchases. Very smart way to "hide" it. Won't be too smart when we're doing bills and one day I click on it and find it....

I'm getting good at looking around your site that you have these minutes on. I can see all the titles that you watch and how long you've watched them. I've also figured out how to search by these title names and find the actual video and description of what's included. I figured I would watch every now and then and see if you notice your minutes slowly going away. I'm sure you won't. And I'm watching one of the last movies you would have recently watched so it probably won't pull up any different. Besides if you do notice the minutes dissappearing what are you gonna do? Ask me? :-)

Oh and I guess you did decided to take a little bit of what I asked into consideration. Started looking for some free stuff. I've come to the conclusion that you like the younger girls. I guess I'm just too old for you now. I've gained a little weight and I guess I'm just not as sexy as you would like me to be anymore. Thanks that makes me feel real good.

I think I'll go find myself some free stuff. And I'll accidently leave it on my task bar like you have one there now.

Not long at all.

I figured that you would last at least a month since our talk but I should have known better. You actually lasted a little more than a week. I guess you had to use up what little minutes you had left in your account. Brought yourself down to 1 minute remaining.

You are working a night shift now so plenty of unspoiled uninterrupted time during the day while I'm at work. And I guess these past two days you have been taking FULL advantage. Although I guess the 1 minute wasn't good enough. I just checked and you have 97 f^cking minutes left to use!!! WTF???

I checked your bank statement - not seeing it there. I also noticed there were videos viewed on Friday. I don't remember did you come home early on that day or did you purchase and view when you were out with your friend?

Maybe you got smart and bought a gift card from a store and that's how you purchased. I guess smart on your part. I'll never actually "see" the charge on your bank statement. And of course no toilet paper wads left in the waste basket.

I kind of figured the anal I gave to you would have been "dirty" enough for you... but I guess not. You just can't resist the temptation. Boy I love you.

We'll see

About two weeks ago we worked on our bills. We decided we wanted to narrow down how much we were spending on items so we each printed out our bank statements and went through each line item naming them. Such as entertainment, personal, gas, groceries etc. When I got to the website that I know prints for the minutes you pay I asked how you wanted to name this one in such a way that told you "I knew what it was for". Then I also mentioned you needed to start finding the free stuff so I wouldn't know.

Then one day last week I came home to find another wad of toilet paper in the trash can so I knew you had been busy. I was depressed all night, you even asked what was wrong. Then the next day you stayed home sick. I knew that you had viewed again since you might as well take advantage of me not being there. Again you asked what was wrong with me.

I asked, "what do you like in your girlfriends that you don't like in me?" We had a small discussion about this. I mentioned that as far as I knew you have been doing this for years but I just didn't know. I mentioned that since I know now it bugs me. Makes me wonder why you don't enjoy yourself with me as often as you do your girlfriends. I even brought up, again, wanting to get videos for both of us to enjoy. You finally basically told me that did not interest you. Basically it is a self enjoyment thing. You asked if I wanted you to stop looking at it. I told you I could ask you to stop till I was blue in the face but obviosly that will never happen (as mentioned before I've flat out asked MANY times before).

We had another discussion and you mentioned that you can never masturbate again. I told him I never said that. So I guess you only associate porn with masturbation. I told you that of course I occansionally masturbate but when I do I'm thinking of you - which is true! I don't need to think of others or watch porn.

But anyway you haven't viewed since our discussion. I assume it will happen again after a few months or so but maybe you will be more discreet than you have been the past month or so. And I did bring up the toilet paper wads so maybe you'll flush them now instead of throwing them away for me to see them.

We'll see. However I do take the words, "Love, Honor and Cherish" seriously.

Wow!

You trully amaze me. I checked your "viewing minutes" before I left for an errand yesterday and you had 3 minutes left. Now you have 23. I know you can only buy in certain increments so you did a bit of viewing yesterday.

This bugs me so much that I woke up last night and couldn't get back to sleep cause I just kept thinking about you looking at this stuff. Plus I found the wad of cum filled toilet paper so I KNEW you definitely enjoyed yourself while I was away. I even asked for sex last night, granted it was a little late, and you said no because it was a little late.

Then I kind of thought about it this morning. Basically - you're cheating on me. You're out having sex with all these other women and not me. You have probably pleasured yourself with all of these other women more times this month than you have with me.

what do I do?

A few years back I accidently ran upon a few porn sites my hubby was viewing. Seriously it was an accident. He walked in as I accidently found them. I told him that this of course bothered me. (and yes men it is because us women think you're thinking of these other women because you feel we're inadequate and all that other jazz) He promised me he would never do it again.

A couple times since then I have actually snooped to see if he was still viewing, of course he was. I brought it up once and of course he denied it.

Well recently I've discovered he's doing it again. He has great opportunity when he gets home before I do from work. Or say on a day he stays home from work sick. It's not like I haven't offered to purchase some videos that we can view together. Or try new things during sex to help with those fantasies and stuff. What more can I do?

So my question... why do men insist on watching this stuff? Really, do we not satisfy you enough?

Any men who pass by let me know. Are you in a relationship? Does your partner know? Have they caught you before and you told them you would stop but still did it anyway?

Women? Have you caught your partner? Did you confront them? What'd they say? As far as you know, are they still looking?